no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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