glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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