but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
