So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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