Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
