Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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