Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
