i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
