Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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