I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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