You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
