Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
