tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
