I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize