escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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