I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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