my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The air taste purple.
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