woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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