I didn't shave. On purpose
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
