She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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