let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
