Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
