College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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