i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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