your room smells of hookers.
And success
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
