I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
