i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
