Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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