When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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