I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize