After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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