So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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