I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
