Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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