You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize