That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
