Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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