I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize