so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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