she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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