I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize