hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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