Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
