You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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