Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
