ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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