just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I will be naked everywhere
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
