Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you never un-have a 4some
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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