I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
