He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize