Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
