I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
