i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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