Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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