this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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