we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
