She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
