I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
