Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
