playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
