How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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