Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
