Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's blow job season.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
