I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
