I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Terrible idea I love it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
