Having a random hookup so left but love u
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
