i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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