I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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