I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
