Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
