if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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