just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
