hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
