So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
