this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
