That's intense
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
